Today sucked. I mean I woke up and immediately hated everything. I was tearing myself down, calling myself a loser and a retard, I just barely escaped snapping at people, I pretty much wanted the world to stop existing. I really didn't want to do the workout, really really really didn't, mostly because today, you could not have convinced me that exercising would make a shit of difference because I'll always be fat and there's nothing I can do to change it, and trying just means I'm an even bigger retard that I thought. Like seriously, a bad day. BUT I did the stupid thing anyway. I was sick of Jillian's face so while she was blathering I went for a mile-long walk/jog, and then I did it again while Billy was veining all over my screen. Did I mention I hated all people today? So some of the video time was replaced with 2 miles of walking/jogging but you know, roughly same calorie burn so whatevs. I needed the change.
I had another phantom scent, this time Arby's. It was heavenly, but I told it to fuck off nonetheless. Ha.
Today my body is sending me new signals. I think I really pushed myself close to my limits tonight. I was hurting in ways that I instinctively recognize as dangerous. I checked a million times and I really am not just making excuses (trust me, I'm the first one to make that assumption) I really think I might have almost gone too far. I'm essentially going from maybe an hour a week of exercise to what, with all the warm-ups and cool-downs in the tapes, ends up being two and a half hours per day. That's a lot, without any kind of transition period. I'm not saying I don't want to do it, I'm just saying...well, just like I had to remove the jog and be okay with it, maybe I'll have to take a day off tomorrow or Saturday and make myself be okay with that, too. Not beat myself up. It depends on how I feel tomorrow of course, I'm not deciding right now. But I consider it a possibility, given the kind of pain I felt tonight. But we'll see. For now...well, I'm just glad today is almost over.
-Amber
I know that biggest loser pushes that 8 hr/day exercise, but you have to remember that what you're doing is supposed to be a lifestyle change. The normal person does not lose 100 lbs in 3 mths. You have to do what you will be able to keep doing for the next 60 years.
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck other Amber...and if you have any questions, my inbox is always open, even if I don't respond immediately!