I've sucked recently. I thought I learned something new but it got clouded/covered/obliterated by my recent suckitude. School started and it's my last semester and I'm having a low-self-esteem spasm. I'm pretty much freaking out. When I've graduated, I'll officially be an adult. I'll have to get a job and prove to my superiors and peers every day that I'm worth something/anything at all/enough for them not to fire and laugh at me. Freaking. Out. I'm terrified. I feel totally worthless, so how am I going to lose weight and get another 4.0 and get a job and keep it? Those are things normal people do. People who aren't inherently shitty in numerous ways.
This has been complete verbal diarrhea. It's how I feel, I know it makes no sense (except the part of me that believes it). Bleahch. Needless to say, I haven't done well on the losing weight front. I'm gonna make myself post something every day and see if that doesn't guilt-slap me into changing my sad, sad tune.
Speaking of, "Sad Songs Say So Much" by Elton John came on the radio as I was typing that last paragraph. I actually feel a tiny bit better singing with it. :-) I guess even in my lowest moments, music can make me smile. I may be a dork. Oh well. :-)
-Amber
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